Jimmy Blue Eyes and My Regret
I have a few regrets in my life. I know not the best to have but such it is. Two of them are pretty major. The first is that I did not go to the police and file a report when I was raped. The second is not telling my Uncle about all the abuse I endured after I married my rapist. Sometimes I just think about how different my life would have been, could have been, as those two regrets most likely would have changed the entire trajectory that led me to today. I should have gone to the police, or at least another adult, regarding the rape...but back then it was humiliating, full of shame, and too scary. It was as though my soul was kidnapped when in truth a piece of me was destroyed. I was always invisible to my parents so they did not even realize or take notice of how the trauma caused my world to change. Marrying my rapist, though, is on a whole other level of making a bad decision...but I keep reflecting how different things might have been had I told...